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George Carlin Quotes


"Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend -- I didn't bother with..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't beat them, arrange to have..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain...."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house...."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life...."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past...."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do..."

Full 'George Carlin' Quote   Source: George Carlin