"A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"From his TV show:"
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down I was convulsed..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Groucho: So, Mrs Smith, do you have any children? Mrs. Smith: Yes,..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"I married your mother because I wanted children; imagine my disappointment..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"I must confess, I was born at a very early age...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"I never forget a face; but, on your case, I'll be glad to make an..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Marriage is a wonderful institution... but, who wants to live in an..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Quote me as saying I was misquoted."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of your fellow man...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"There is one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him. If he says yes,..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Time wounds all heels."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Why don't you go home to your wife. Better yet, I'll go home to your wife..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough...."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"Women should be obscene and not heard."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"You're a woman who's been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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"You've got the brain of a four year old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to..."
Full 'Groucho Marx' Quote
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Groucho Marx
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