"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank..."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who..."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone..."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him..."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing...."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be..."
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Johnny Carson
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"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam...."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved...."
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Johnny Carson
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"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more..."
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Johnny Carson
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"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day...."
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Johnny Carson
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"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're..."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do...."
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Johnny Carson
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"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time,..."
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Johnny Carson
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"People will pay more to be entertained than educated...."
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Johnny Carson
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"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right..."
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Johnny Carson
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"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal..."
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Johnny Carson
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"The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money...."
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Johnny Carson
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"They say atomic radiation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is..."
Full 'Johnny Carson' Quote
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Johnny Carson
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