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Mitch Hedberg Quotes


"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg
"I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg
"If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg
"If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free..."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg
"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation..."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg
"My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your..."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg
"People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole..."

Full 'Mitch Hedberg' Quote   Source: Mitch Hedberg